When I was home recuperating from a bad car accident the summer before my junior year in college, my dad took a picture of me.
I looked hideous. Until then I’d been a pretty college coed. Now, when I had the nerve to venture even as far as the grocery store--not often--little kids started crying and hiding behind their mothers.
I am not kidding.
What strikes me about the photograph isn’t so much the scar as the posture of the person bearing it. I was slumped over, with an expression on my face that seemed to apologize for my very existence.
I’d seen that look in other photographs of me, many times, before and after the accident. That’s why, when Darrell noticed my suddenly regal posture the summer I got an agent, we marked the moment. Was I not going to straighten my shoulders until I’d earned my own respect? Dr. Nick Morgan
thought that was plausible when I talked with him about it on the show recently. It’s possible to change the way you feel about yourself by changing your posture, he says, but it’s difficult. Much better to address why
you feel the way you do. The posture, and everything else about your body language, will follow.
Body language is one of Nick’s passions--and lucky for all of us, in my opinion, that’s the subject of his next book.
Nick congratulated me on consulting my gut, literally consulting my gut, about a supposed upgrade to not only the ceilings but also the walls of our house. I’d stood quietly in the center of the first room where the ceiling had been treated with a beautiful texture--and I asked myself how I’d feel if it was on the walls, too. A current of fear ran through me. Nightmare averted. Our drywallers reassured me leaving the walls alone was the right move, and were relieved I’d arrived at the answer by myself.
Nick didn’t tell me to take more breaths, to pause more, when talking with him. He showed me, by doing it himself. Having him on the program is a great reminder we always have only now, and if we try to cram too much into any particular moment we’ll just waste everyone’s breath.
I want to stop here because I’d rather have you listen to the podcast
than keep reading. It’s fascinating. Nick, that is--not me. The only part of my contribution that’s fascinating is how often I used the word fascinating.
That’s why I listen to every word of every show after we record these interviews. It reminds me to keep the nervous laughter in check--yeah, I still get nervous, which Nick would say is great because it shows I care--and to make sure I don’t fall back on the same reaction to my guest’s observations.
There’s a word for that. Annoying!