Posted by: maureen in service, empathy, care on
Apr 15, 2013
You want people to know you care about them, right? So why do you tell them to calm down when they’re upset?
Rich Gallagher joined us on the show recently to talk about customer service. His new book is
The Customer Service Survival Kit, and if you can demonstrate to a potential employer your ability to soothe irate customers, he dares you to be unemployed for long.
And once again, advice for work--advice for life.
Rich and I both wonder if anything good has ever come from the suggestion to calm down. I haven’t met the person who likes being told how to feel. His reaction might feel appropriate to him. Even if you could prove it isn’t, why would you?
Better, Rich says, to try to identify with his feelings. “Of
course you’re upset!” you could respond. “Who wouldn’t be?” Forget for a moment
you wouldn’t be. Then you can continue the conversation honestly with something along the lines of, “Let’s figure out a way to fix this…”
Argue with someone’s feelings, and you’ll have a different problem. I promise.
Oh, and by the way, Rich says you can practice empathy with people you don’t feel much empathy for. Just try it. They might respond in a way that inspires your empathy after all.
Next up, when “I understand” and “I’m sorry” backfires--and why criticism isn’t what you think.
Posted by: maureen in team, empathy, care on
Oct 30, 2012
“I’m sorry you’re having this problem.”
Who cares if the customer service rep’s reading off a script? I like it! “He gets me,” I think. I want to help him help me. Even if we can’t solve the problem--right away, or at all--I feel good about myself and even better about him.
Sales trainers remind new reps the customer doesn’t care how much you know until she knows how much you care.
When you’re upset, what’s the first thing you want to hear from someone? That it matters. That you matter.
I haven’t met a man who objects to hearing that, at least in passing. And I don’t know the woman who wouldn’t swoon if you lingered on it a bit.
What happens next? Who knows? But I bet it’ll go really well, because you’re on the same team.
Posted by: maureen in truth, experiment, care on
Jun 21, 2012
When I was a cocktail waitress the bartenders spent a lot of time straining mangled corks from the wine in bottles I tried to open.
No one had shown me how to do that, and I never thought to ask. It looked so simple. Thread the corkscrew down the cork, position that little bottle-opener thingy, slowly pull back. At which point the cork crumbled, every time.
It took us a while to figure out what I was doing wrong. Instead of just placing the corkscrew in the center of the cork and slowly turning, I muscled it down. As if it needed help! I took something simple, something easy--and made it difficult. I hate to admit this, but it’s a bit of a pattern with me.
The Career Clinic vignette is a bite-sized version of the talk show and we got some advice recently for how to make it better. I was sounding a bit forced. That’s probably the best--and the kindest--way to put it. What I thought was enthusiastic came off as a little much. How embarrassing! And how wonderful to have people around me who care enough about me--and our work--to tell me the truth.
I’m excited to see what else I can improve on, now. Like a true journalist, I’ll keep experimenting--and reporting back on the results.
Posted by: maureen in sample, letter, care on
May 13, 2012
Once upon a time the folks who supply us with bubble mailers started cramming them into smaller boxes. The result? Crumpled mailers that were difficult to open and difficult to seal.
If Darrell was running that company, he’d want someone to tell him about this. He wouldn’t want to lose customers and not know why. So he wrote a really nice letter and sent it along with a sample of the crumpled product.
The result? A really nice letter back--and a case of mailers that weren’t crumpled--to thank him for the trouble. We’re still using this supplier. They’re still using those smaller boxes, but they don’t pack as many mailers into each--and everything’s been arriving in good shape.
Next up, why you might want to thank a complainer--even if that person doesn’t take as much care as Darrell does when expressing his unhappiness.
Posted by: maureen in care on
Apr 24, 2012
Who can resist a guy--a boss, a colleague, a husband--who pulls you aside to ask how to do something? Soothe a customer, turn a phrase, tame a toddler. It’s enchanting when someone admits he’s stumped.
May I make a joke? Where can I find that guy?
This was one man's way of explaining another man’s seeming indifference to a woman who was upset: “Guys don’t know what to do in situations like that.”
You don’t have to know what to do. And no, you don’t have to ask if there’s anything you can do. If you’re willing to live with a new problem, that is--an employee, a client, or your sweetheart wondering if you’ve noticed…or care.
Your call!
Posted by: maureen in promise, feeling, care on
Apr 10, 2012
Ever notice how you feel after you eat a big, juicy steak? A bag of potato chips? A big bowl of Fruity Pebbles?
It took me a long time to make a point of noticing, but eventually I did. And eventually I didn’t want to eat steaks or potato chips. Fruity Pebbles still call, but I don’t answer.
Funny thing about noticing how different foods make you feel. You realize how other things you consume--like movies--make you feel.
Don’t bother suggesting I watch Fight Club, for example. Or rather, watch it again. Once was more than enough. I only did it because I promised.
Maybe I should’ve just read the script. The movie wasn’t without merit--but that’s mostly a guess, because I was covering my eyes for most of it.
I’d rather spend a couple of hours watching The Family Man or Moneyball or even Tangled. They go down easy, they stay with me, and they make me want to be a better person.
Fight Club?
That just makes me want to be more careful about what I promise.
Posted by: maureen in dream, care, basketball on
Apr 2, 2012
Two dreamy years as a resident of Kansas. Then five dreamy years--more sleepy than dreamy, but whatever--as a resident of Kentucky. And you couldn't have paid me to care whether KU or UK won the NCAA championship basketball game tonight.
Until I started watching.
Kansas was down 27-41 at halftime. That's when I learned the largest halftime margin ever overcome in the tournament's title game was ten points.
Kansas it is!
Early in the second half Kansas was down 30-46. But! Soon after that they came within ten. A little while later, down 16 again.
With 4:17 left on the clock Kansas was behind 50-59. At 3:50 to go they'd narrowed the gap to 52-59. At 1:11 they were six down.
Kansas lost, 59-67.
But they made me care. It was a wild twenty minutes of basketball, and a great time to reflect on one of my favorite questions of all time...
Are you leaving it all on the floor?
Posted by: maureen in power, music, care on
Jan 26, 2012
“
The only reason to give a speech is to change the world.”
Wait a minute!
Isn’t that the only reason to do anything?
“Yeah, right,” I can almost hear you thinking as exceptions come to mind.
What about laundry?
I helped Mom with mountains of laundry when I was growing up. I’m the oldest of eight kids, born in nine years--before disposable diapers were in vogue--and you can just imagine.
What I remember most, besides dreading it
every time, is singing along to the
Camelot album as we worked. Music has the power to transform anything, I learned. Even laundry.
Now I still dread it, but not as much. Because within a few seconds--every time--I think about how glad I am to have people to care for, how soothing it is to start something and finish it, and how much I enjoy the time away from my screens to decide what else I want to make happen today.
You know, besides laundry.
Posted by: maureen in standard, competition, care on
Aug 17, 2011
Ask almost any hiring manager. The number of people who send in application materials with typos is mind-boggling.
“Yeah?” I can almost hear some of you say. “If I eliminate everyone who has a typo on his resume I won’t have any candidates.”
Leadership consultant
Dave Anderson thinks that mindset is a problem.
“Lowering your standards isn’t hiring,” Dave says. “It’s surrender. It’s not the way you build a great company.”
So what do you do?
“Keep looking,” Dave says.
Not convinced? Ask the people who already work for you. Dave guesses they’d rather you hold out for the right person. They'd rather increase their workload in the short-term than pick up the slack indefinitely for a...slacker.
Dave suggests you keep the bar high. You won’t hire just anyone, and that’s good. Who wants to work for someone who thinks otherwise?
Oh. And for the job hunters, did you catch the good news? The people who are careless about spelling--or don’t have the sense to silence their cell phones before the interview--mean less competition. “Unfortunately these days,” Dave agrees, “you can stand out from the pack just by being polite!”
Posted by: maureen in language, impression, care on
Jun 15, 2011
I bet you’ve heard friends say the following when they mean the opposite: “I could care less.” Communications consultant
Holland Cooke says it doesn’t matter how many people make this mistake. They
all sound stupid.
Holland suggests you clean up your act. Be impeccable in your speech.
It reminds me of a popular blogger--a
very popular blogger--who would’ve said “that” where I just said “who.” Ironic, if only because in a recent post he wondered if you know the difference between “its” and “it’s.”
So what’s the lesson here? To be a language snob? Uh, no.
I just think it would be a shame to take yourself out of the running for that dream job because an employer gets the impression you couldn’t care less.
