The Career Clinic Blog

“People keep asking me, ‘What are you going to be when you grow up?’” That opening line of my favorite radio commercial pretty much nails it, don’t you think? How from the time we’re very young, grownups ask us to set the course of our lives--as if we could. As if they have theirs figured out. As if all this grilling helps anything.

Making a Living Without a Job author Barbara Winter thinks it’s a shame. She says we put so much pressure on kids to make the so-called right choice that by the time they realize it isn’t, they’re loathe to admit it--let alone doing anything about it.

Education doesn’t stop when you graduate from high school or even college. If you can think of every job as still another classroom, you’ll know when it’s time to move on--when you’ve learned everything you can learn, and you’re ready for a new challenge.

It’ll help you stay loose.

I hope you’ll share what you’re learning. So does the comedian Paula Poundstone. “Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up,” she says, “because we’re looking for ideas.”

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You’re good in math, but you have no interest in becoming an actuary. You’re okay in science, too--but you have even less interest in becoming a researcher or a professor. You want to make really good money when you graduate, and you thought Dagny Taggart in Atlas Shrugged was one cool chick.

Engineering it is! Or…was.

The reasons I just gave for choosing civil engineering as my major in college weren’t altogether irresponsible for a high school kid. Except there’s more to it.

I wanted to be special, and a woman in engineering was special at the time.

Pathetic, I know.

I sailed through my freshman year on what I’d learned in my advanced math classes in high school. Sophomore year was a different story. I knew within a week I was in deep, deep trouble. I was getting into more of the core engineering classes--and if I stuck with them I was in for…hell.

The problem was, I didn’t know what I’d rather be doing. The things I loved to do, the things I was really good at, were fun. And fun was something I thought you had in the evenings or on weekends or after you retired. Not at work.

Now what?

I took the advice of a favorite professor, who knew that many of us wanted to bail. “Make sure you’re running to something,” he suggested, “and not away from it.”

It made sense. When you don’t know where you’re going, as I’ve come to believe, you may as well hang out where you are.

Not only that, but it would’ve really bothered me to quit. You don’t quit something just because it’s difficult. I knew I’d prove something--if only to myself--if I got that degree.

I graduated with a 3.0 average, I passed the Engineer-in-Training exam, and I never went near a real engineering job after I graduated. Smart moves. Every one!

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How much time do you spend playing games? I don’t mean corporate games. I mean fun games. And how do you justify those?

I’m partial to Tetris and Scrabble. Tetris is great practice for not freaking out. Scrabble, for being adventurous--and calculating--with word choice.

Tetris reminds me that as life--I mean, the game--goes along, making any decision becomes more important than making the right decision. Time is short. Don’t be waffling. You can always correct your course, if you don’t freak out.

Scrabble reminds me I want to win, but not if the person I’m playing loses. I go for the kill with every turn, but I love it when the outcome is uncertain until the big “Game Over” sign flashes on the screen.

It doesn’t really matter what cards--er, tiles and letters--you’re dealt. Have fun, learn a lot, better your best.

Most importantly, hope for an uncertain outcome. Unless you love a boring story.

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“Getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

One reason people say that? Suddenly they had time, which they’d never taken before, to consider other choices.

It’s difficult to keep a theoretical silver lining in mind while you’re getting the news. I know. That’s one reason I’ve always been impressed with a suggestion from career consultant Anne Headley, to write your former employer a letter--thanking the person for everything you learned on that job. Can you imagine? Talk about grace.

It makes me wonder if Carol Bartz will ever regret what she said about being fired from Yahoo recently. But I’ll be following the story with interest!

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Once upon a time a so-called friend was upset with me for not giving free workshops to a class she was getting paid to teach.

I was full up on volunteer work, spec work, and the kind of work you do in hopes you can turn it into a business someday. I couldn't...afford...more of it, and couldn't have been less interested in what this woman was proposing.

So I told her thanks anyway, but wrapped it in so much sweetness I was sure she'd forgive me for taking a pass.

She didn't.

She didn't forgive me, but I bet the man who's known as Mr. Simplicity would. Bill Jensen, whose latest book is called Hacking Work, says time is our most precious asset. How we spend it is up to us.

Sure, some people disagree--apparently. They're offended by your choices. That's their choice.

My suggestion? Let them find someone else to boss around.

No offense!

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The comedian Drake Witham used to work for a guy who told him, "I don't see color. I don't care if you're white, black, or purple."

And he thought, "Purple? Really? You don't care if someone's purple? Because that's going to set off some alarm bells for me."

Drake doesn't know if anyone would ever be foolish enough to put him in a position to hire people. But let's say it happens. If he has the choice between a white guy and a black guy and a purple guy, he's definitely not going to hire the purple guy.

"Everyone knows," Drake says, "that purple people are lazy."

You can learn more about finding the silly at work at DrakeWitham.com.

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It took me several weeks to decide to buy a four-dollar pretzel. Every other Saturday, browsing the mall and savoring still another mouth-watering sample, I contemplated my choices. There was quite an array. Eventually I settled on parmesan, with honey mustard on the side.

I spent more time deciding on a pretzel than a college major, which is one reason I wound up with a degree in engineering. Lucky for me I also had three internships in school--construction work, railroad design, and manufacturing management--so I knew for sure by the time I graduated I wanted nothing to do with engineering.

I was sold on internships, though. They give you a chance to try on a job before you sign up for full-time employment. Why would you not do that? Well, okay, the pay isn't usually very good if you get anything at all, and most people have to do other work to support the supposedly free trial. But to sample a new job before committing to it? Truly, in my opinion, priceless.

You don't have to intern. Volunteer to do a job for free. Use the weekend to help a friend whose work intrigues you. Ask someone if you can tag along for a day. Anything to get a feel for what the work you're considering is actually like. You won't be sorry.

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Does this sound familiar? You weren't really crazy about a career in sales but everyone told you that you're great with people and the next thing you know you have twenty years with the company. Your family's used to the income and between juggling a two-career marriage and kids and everything that comes with them you feel lucky if you get an hour to yourself at the gym on a weekend let alone time to contemplate what makes you happy.

That's one reason people who get fired so often look back on the experience--eventually--as the best thing that ever happened. It gave them time to stop and consider other choices, something they'd never taken before. Why wait? Isn't your entire working life worth a week away from the grind to take a good hard look at the grind? If you can't swing that, set aside time in the early morning or late evening to look out a picture window at the stars...and make a few wishes. Corny? You bet. Effective? Try it and see.

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