The Career Clinic Blog

Do you get nervous before you give a presentation? I do. When the butterflies show up--they feel more like wasps, by the way--I say to myself, “I’m nervous because I care.”

And then I have fun, because talking with people in person--being able to tell which direction to head next based on the expressions on their faces--is fun.

It reminds me of how I used to freeze up before starting a big project. Then I read Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art. Now I still freeze up, but I don’t freak out about it. I recognize it as part of the deal.

And then I get to work!

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"Would you like to do the suction?"

That's what the woman cleaning my teeth wanted to know.

I looked at her. "I don't know," I said.

Her face was partially covered by the mask she was wearing to keep from breathing in my germs, but I could see enough of her expression to know she didn't get that answer very often! She seemed relieved when I quickly added, "What would be better for you?"

"It would free up a hand," she admitted.

"I'll do it," I told her.

You just don't know sometimes. So you ask.

Darrell would've said yes right away, by the way. "I'd want to control when it was used," he told me. Interesting! Because it didn't occur to me, even when holding the thing, that I'd have the control. Or that I should have the control.

I'm going to be chewing on this one for a while!

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So I’m at the library, and the woman behind the counter asks me if I want the newspaper. “Well, sure,” I said. “Thanks!”

She looks a little surprised when I go behind the counter afterward anyway, to fetch a magazine. Something about that look made me ask: “Did you want to get it for me?” She smiled. “Actually,” she said, “we’re supposed to. It’s a privacy thing.”

I’ve been going to this same library for--what?--seventeen years. Seventeen years I’ve been poking around the corner of this counter, grabbing a newspaper or magazine--usually both. Once in a while someone’s offered to retrieve them, and most of the time I’ve said, "That's sweet of you, but no need." I don’t expect people to wait on me. Once in a very blue moon someone’s looked at me kind of funny, like why are you here--and, well, nothing too unusual about that!

Now I find out I’m not supposed to be back there.

Maybe you’ve heard of Minnesota Nice. Suddenly I wonder if the expression originated right here, at the public library in my hometown.

Seventeen years of breaking the rules--posting them, apparently, would be rude--and the most I’ve gotten from anyone is a sideways glance.

It makes me wonder how many other people I’ve been annoying! Accidentally!

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Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

Remember that Groucho Marx quote? Good. You’ll need it in a minute.

So.

Have you ever been upgraded to a special floor in a hotel, where you had to swipe your room key in the elevator before the button for that floor would light up?

It doesn’t make you too popular with the other riders, I’ll tell ya. If someone didn’t beat us to the…punch…Darrell and I both did the same thing--downplayed it. “I really don’t think there’s anything special about the rooms,” one of us would say. On this particular trip upstairs Darrell teased the person who was teasing us, something about why you'd want to belong to a club that would have you for a member.

You know, that Groucho Marx quote.

Which Katie hadn’t heard, judging by the “What the…?” look she gave Darrell.

“You know who Groucho Marx is, don't you?” he asked.

“Yeah…” she said.

At this point my focus turned from the two of them to the remaining passenger on the elevator. He’d been enjoying the conversation, I could tell, and smiled in anticipation of the rest of Katie’s answer. Which amused me, because I had this feeling he had no idea what was coming--we never do--and I wanted to enjoy his reaction.

The elevator doors opened and the man got ready to leave. And Katie said, “He’s the guy who said he didn’t want to read on the inside of a dog.”

I wish you could’ve seen the guy’s expression change from a knowing smile to a scrunched up, confused looking “What the…?” A feeling I shared with him, by the way, because I didn’t remember the correct quote--and kept thinking, “What is she talking about? What does that even mean?”

The doors started to close as the man stepped off the elevator, disoriented. He looked like someone who thought he was taking a drink of water but got club soda instead.

Career consultants are fond of suggesting you be careful what you say and do because people are always watching.

Are you giving them a good show?

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Why would you sweep the floor when you could hire someone to do it? John Nese from Galco’s Soda Pop Stop in Los Angeles says that one’s easy. He gets some of his best ideas while sweeping.

Here’s an idea. Watch this video. John shared some of his bubbly personality with us on The Career Clinic recently, and has a suggestion for would-be business owners. Don’t try to be everything to everybody. Just do one thing really well.

Doing something really well doesn’t necessarily mean doing it faster, by the way. Have you ever heard the expression that a shortcut’s the longest distance between two points? That’s how I feel about some of those computer shortcuts Darrell’s forever trying to persuade me to use. It drives him nuts to watch me take two or three keystrokes to pull off what he can do in one--which drives me nuts right back. He thinks I’m wasting time. I think I’m saving it--by making fewer mistakes--and savoring it.

When I was a youngster, someone told me there’s more to life than speeding it up. Sweeping, keyboarding, living. It’s not a contest, or a race. Is it?

It’s like I told Colleen Wainwright on the last show. I want The Career Clinic to be an oasis, the radio equivalent of a porch swing. Remember those? Where you’d sip--sip, not gulp--lemonade, and linger over a conversation?

Doesn’t that sound soothing? I hope so!

Thanks for reading, and listening.

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Nothing like a book called Living Well at One Hundred to make you think, "Better do some financial planning." Many of Dr. Darlene McCord's suggestions will ring familiar, and on a recent edition of The Career Clinic she said stress is contagious. "If you're a manager you set the mood for the whole office," she points out. "People look for cues about how to feel from you."

It reminded me how often that plays out. For better or worse, default settings or no, we catch moods from each other as easily as we do colds.

I first became aware of this in college. I was at a concert with my boyfriend, and couldn't believe Billy Joel was going to sing "Summer, Highland Falls." I almost burst into tears at the sudden delight, not realizing Steve was taking this in. I could feel his eyes on me, then. He smiled, so I smiled. Later he told me he wished he had a picture of my expression at that moment. "Priceless," he said. And then, "So innocent." Now I realize what the expression was. I wasn't about to decide it was a smileworthy moment until he gave me the okay.

I aspire to what Dr. Alex Lickerman described as indestructible happiness, but I cop to what I've heard put this way: "You're only as happy as the least happy person you're living with." So you do the best you can by yourself--and your sweethearts--and keep a can of Lysol handy.

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Are there five sweeter words in the English language than the following? "That's interesting. Tell me more." They remind me of being a wiggly elementary school kid, holding my hand so high my arm hurt, hoping the teacher would call on me.

Am I the only person who hasn't grown out of that? Judging from the popularity of Help a Reporter Out, I think not. Founder Peter Shankman gives you a chance to share what you know at least three times a day, and could've invented the expression that everyone is an expert at something. If you subscribe to helpareporter.com you'll find lots of questions you might be qualified to answer--whether about dieting or parenting or how the recession has affected small businesses in New York.

Peter's made it easy to get in touch with reporters, and in return you'll get the fun of being quoted in, say, the New Jersey Star-Ledger.

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