The Career Clinic Blog

Once upon a time operators for AT&T went on strike. This was back in the eighties, back when phones were often attached to a wall, when people who worked for the phone company sometimes helped you make long-distance calls, when you called directory assistance for a phone number--instead of jumping on a computer most people didn’t have at home, for internet access most people had never heard of.

I was a communications consultant for AT&T at the time. As a manager (read: not part of the union) I was called on to help cover for some of those operators, and I worked nights for a month. One night I went out for a birthday dinner--technically it was breakfast--before my shift. The meal went longer than I expected, traffic was heavier than I expected, and I worried I’d be late for work.

Because, you know, really bad things would’ve happened had I not punched into my station right on time. Calls would’ve been dropped! People would’ve been put on hold! Another um, scab might’ve had to delay a smoke break to handle the volume I wasn’t.

Still in traffic, I took advantage of every opening in the next lane to pass still someone else in my quest to make it to work on time. There was someone on my tail, and he was gaining on me. “Interesting,” I thought. “Maybe he’s late for something, too.”

Nope.

I don’t remember very much of what followed. I don’t remember him wanting to see my driver’s license. I don’t remember him asking if I knew how fast I was going. And I certainly don’t remember any panic at the thought of a speeding ticket, because this was back when I just budgeted for a few of those every so often--but that’s another story, and definitely a different husband!

Here’s what I do remember about this traffic stop. The gentleman--the uh, officer--asked me why I was in such a hurry. “Well,” I said, “I’m helping cover for striking telephone company operators, and I’m worried I’m going to be late for my shift.”

He looked at me.

“You’re speeding to get to work on time?”

Before I could answer he asked it again: “You’re speeding to get to work?”

I nodded.

He shook his head. He gave me the impression he couldn’t believe it.

“Oh get the heck out of here,” he said.

I don’t know how many of you noticed the extra state troopers working this holiday weekend, but they were out in full force--protecting the traveling public from drunk drivers, and yes, speeders.

I’ll tell you how I know in my next post.

Meanwhile have a great week at work. And leave plenty of time to get there safely!

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“I gotta go to the bathroom!” the toddler exclaims.

“You have to go to the bathroom?” the mother replies.

What is she? Deaf?

Nope.

She’s teaching her child how to speak properly, and she’s doing that in a way that keeps him from feeling criticized.

It’s magic, really. Mom repeats the statement, gives it a little spin, and voilà! Kidspeak becomes proper English, eventually, and no children are harmed in the process.

Learning how to speak well won’t guarantee your little pumpkin will get into a so-called good college or land a great job once he graduates. But I can’t think of a single thing in life that’s made more difficult by effective communication.

There’s never a bad time to reflect the behavior you’re trying to inspire.

Ever walked past a mom or a dad with a screaming toddler in tow? Ever see the parent start screaming back at the child? Maybe it’s just me--but it seems like that parent is usually letting rip with some variation of, “Calm down!”

When this works--and it’s rare, in my unscientific sample--I have a theory. Even the toddler can’t believe what he’s hearing!

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Keep records of electronic communication. Have a social media policy and communicate that with your employees. And while you’re at it, behave as if you’re being videotaped. More often than you might believe, you are.

I'm no expert on things like this, but Nancy Flynn is. She shared so many cautionary tales on The Career Clinic recently I was tempted to label the episode More Job Security for Lawyers.

You don’t have to like the world we live in, privacywise--or rather, no privacywise--but if you’re open to a little pragmatism, here goes.

To hear most people tell it, someone’s always watching. First it’s Santa, then God, then the person monitoring the security camera in your favorite department store.

Then one day you’re working behind the counter at an airline the day dozens of flights are cancelled. You’re at your very best, your most patient, with the first couple of hundred customers. Mr. 201 gets to you, though. He’s rude, he’s obnoxious, and he won’t stop. You snap. Someone gets a little video with a smartphone, and your…reaction…goes viral.

You could long for the days of What Happens in Bad Behaviorland Stays in Bad Behaviorland. Or you could be thankful for the reminders, just so many reminders, to stay cool.

You know. Just in case the good feeling you get from staying cool isn’t enough.

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“Marriage isn’t so much a matter of finding the right person, as being the right person.”

Ever heard that?

There are exceptions. Richard Gallagher is an expert on communication, a popular public speaker, bestselling author, and soon-to-be marriage and family therapist. “Fifteen percent of people are what I call perfectly horrible,” he admits. “Communication skills won’t work.”

So what do you do if you find yourself living or working with someone who’s “perfectly” horrible?

Oh, man. I didn’t mean for this blog to take that turn. Can I back up?

Thanks. Richard thinks it’s a shame, how often we peg people as perfectly horrible when they’re just not perfectly reasonable. Working through a conflict won’t be easy. And, you know, so what.

You can pretend the conflict isn’t there while it turns into something bigger. Or you can give that perfectly okay person, and yourself, a little credit…and dig in!

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You have the goods. You know you can do the job that’s being advertised. Heck, maybe you’ve just rocked an interview--but realize you still have plenty of competition.

Now what?

How do you write a letter that makes, or restates, your case?

Daphne Gray-Grant is a writing coach who shared some advice on The Career Clinic recently. She says the medium is at least as important as your message, and suggests you send it the old-fashioned way. “Use regular mail,” Daphne says. “Your letter will stand out for all the right reasons.”

Think of your own mailbox. What’s waiting in there? Bills, probably. Several other things you have to deal with, but wish you didn’t.

Now imagine impeccable handwriting on quality stationery with a heartfelt message, from someone who took the time to tell a charming story and address the envelope and find out your name is spelled Browne, not Brown.

Take that, all other forms of communication--electronic or otherwise!

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Your prospective client asks you a question. Telling her the truth means sending her to the competition. So naturally you do that, right?

Sure, it’ll probably cost you this sale. But Richard Gallagher, an expert on the art of communication, wants you to look forward to the next sale--and the sale after that. Honesty really is the best policy, he says: “People want to do business with people who tell them the truth.”

Richard’s known for teaching people how to handle difficult interpersonal situations--like closing a sale. “I don’t close,” he says. “I don’t create a false sense of urgency, and I never do a hard sell or any of those other things they tell you to do.”

Here’s how Richard sums up his sales advice: “Get really good at something and tell people you’re available if they need help with that. Become known as a reliable source of information, and you'll have as much business as you can handle...eventually."

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You wouldn’t walk into a job interview having only researched the potential employer on the company web site, would you? So don’t assume an employer will stop at a cover letter and resume for a picture of you--when a more textured, three-dimensional image is only a few clicks away.

Nancy Flynn is an expert on electronic communications. She says hiring managers sometimes ask about a candidate’s Facebook presence during an interview, and suggest they look at it together. That’s one reason she recommends you think of social networking as professional networking, and only post things you’d be comfortable with a current or future employer perusing.

What does everyone have to do at work, from the entriest of entry-level jobs to the loftiest of management positions? Yep. Communicate. Nancy knows people who sweat every comma on their blogs--only to get careless when texting or tweeting. “Bad move,” she says.

“It’s like DNA,” guru to the gurus Seth Godin has said. “One cell carries the coding for all of them.”

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A woman walks into the lounge of a classy Italian restaurant for a glass of wine, but doesn't find anything she likes.

No problem, right?

She'll realize she's in the wrong place for her tastes--and go somewhere else.

Except she didn't.

I was her waitress that afternoon. She struck me as someone who was having a bad day--but I wasn't, so no big. There weren't any other customers in the lounge, and I had plenty of time to try and make it--as they say in the trades--a happy dining experience for her.

I smiled and listened patiently as she told me what was wrong with each of our selections. I couldn't add a lot to the discussion because I only distinguished wines by color. One by one she ruled each out, growing more annoyed as she worked her way down the list.

"I'm really sorry you're not seeing anything that looks good to you," I offered at one point. Mostly I just listened and hoped my smile didn't betray the feeling this exchange wasn’t going to end well.

Finally she gave it to me. The look. The "what are you going to do about this" look. Which in my classic new-to-the-job mode inspired only panic.

I kind of nodded, smiled weakly, and told her my idea. Not to be a smarty-pants--that would’ve been unkind, and stupid--but because I was convinced that what was obvious to me wasn't obvious to her. The suggestion was a very tentative, "You wouldn't have to order wine..."

Cut to the next thing I remember, being at the server's station later that evening, still smarting from my supervisor's take on the incident. Maybe it wasn't a butt-chewing, as I mentioned in the last post, but one painful little nibble. Communications consultant Richard Gallagher thinks there was a better way through this--for the customer, and for me--and I’ll fill you in tomorrow.

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