The Career Clinic Blog

You're supposed to have problems. Doesn't that put the molehills and even the mountains into perspective?

The question is whether you have the kind of problems you like to solve.

I mean, for the most part.

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You love soccer. Why is that? You love periwinkle. I do, too! You love math. What is it about solving algebra problems that tickles you so much?

Figuring out why you love something, peeling back another layer, is an exercise career consultants often use. The goal is to examine your skills and your preferences from a different perspective so you can, for example, see yourself thriving in a new career.

I just think it’s fun to wonder. Why do I love math? Thanks for asking! Maybe it started when I was little and my dad helped me with my math homework. He took time out of his weekend--and time away from four sisters and three brothers--and spent it on me. That was pretty cool.

Please don’t decide you already know everything there is to know about yourself. It’ll help you remember you don’t know everything about the people you live with and work with.

It would be a shame to take them for granted!

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Haven’t you always ached for people who have gone off to war?

Platoon had been haunting me for seventeen years before someone who’d served in Vietnam called the film an accurate portrayal. Talk about a horror movie.

When this someone wanted help writing his war story, I said no. Everything about the project--except for the writing, a tiny part of the work--sounded like hell.

Then the guilt got to me. I’d never risked much of anything for my country. How could I continue to tell my dad, for example--who served in Korea--how much I appreciate his service? Words are cheap. So to speak.

So I wrote Left for Dead: A Second Life After Vietnam. And it’s a great story. I wouldn’t write it the same way today. I don’t know if I’d write it at all. But if you want to know what Vietnam was like for one person, from the perspective of a journalist both innocent and jaded, check it out.

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It hurts to lose.

I can still see Katie up on stage, clapping so hard for people who made it into the honors choir you would’ve thought she was their proud parent--not someone who lost out to them. As the applause died down I wondered what was left to want. What a sweetheart, this kid. What a privilege, to watch her grow up.

Darrell and I aren’t fans of the “everybody gets a ribbon” philosophy. You win some, you lose some…and pretending otherwise doesn’t prepare you for life.

I was surprised by how poorly Butler did in last night’s NCAA championship game. It was incredible for all the wrong reasons. That’s the way the ball bounced. But I bet the postgame, from the perspective of BU’s coaches and players, will be nothing but class. And that, sports fans, makes them champions.

In life it does matter whether you win or lose, and we’ll cover that on the next edition of The Career Clinic. Management consultant John Putzier will talk about why it’s not only okay but critical you pay people based on performance. Then--because how you play the game also matters--marketing consultant Colleen Wainwright will show you how to talk in a way that builds yourself up without tearing anyone else down.

I can’t imagine looking forward to a program more than I’m looking forward to this one, though (with no disrespect to John or Colleen) (to the contrary!) I say that every week!

If you want to raise your game, I wouldn’t miss it.

But that’s me.

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An expert is someone who can admit she doesn't know. Ever heard that one? Anne Headley is a career consultant who finds it difficult to go on job interviews. She doesn't do that very much anymore because she works for herself. But her clients find her relatable because she doesn't pretend to have all the answers.

"That isn't what they pay me for," she says. "They pay me to ask good questions, and help them discover the answers for themselves."

Anne gives me the impression she learns as much from her clients as they do from her. When she told one of them about her discomfort with job interviews she thought his response was brilliant: "People don't like a martini on the first sip, either." It reminded both Anne and me that someone who interviews well isn't necessarily the best person for the job. We think job hunters and employers should keep that in mind.

Anne isn't shy about offering her opinion when she has one, but she's meticulous about framing it as only that--her perspective. She thinks, for example, you should keep the job you have while you look for a new one. You won't be desperate and people will be more likely to return your calls--for starters.

A recent client ignored that advice, Anne says, and didn't take long at all to find a new job.

"So what do I know?" Anne says. The willingness with which she admits that makes me think she is an expert indeed.

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Why does time seem to speed up as you get older?

I think it was a physics professor who told me it was just…math. A year when you’re five is twenty percent of your whole life. A year when you’re fifty is two percent. So it isn’t less time, it just feels that way by comparison.

Dr. Alex Lickerman, who blogs at Happiness in this World, comes at it from a different perspective. “For a five-year-old,” he says, “each day is filled with so many brand-new things, with so much learning about all those new things, that it seems like a long time.” Not so with the fifty-year-old. Not a lot of novelty there.

Have you ever had days, or weeks, or years, when you wonder if someone else could’ve plugged into your life and done it at least as well if not better? “We like to think we’re bringing something unique, something special, to the equation,” Alex says. But if we don’t?

What if the boredom to novelty ratio feels oppressively top-heavy?

Heck if I know. But I hope we can figure it out together--with help from people like Alex. The podcast of my most recent interview with him will be up in a couple of weeks, but in the meantime you can listen to an earlier conversation, “So you want to be a doctor…”

Enjoy!

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