The Career Clinic Blog

Should you take a year off between high school and college? Marry the guy? Buy a house in that neighborhood?

What about the job you’ve just been offered? Do you take it? Or keep looking?

Beats me.

The decisions I’ve felt most sure about have often left me wondering what I could’ve possibly been thinking. And much of what I love most about my life started practically on a dare.

So I’m probably a bad one to ask for advice. Then again, I hope you don’t read this blog for the answers. I hope you read it for the questions.

The decisions I take the most delight in have something in common. When I remembered to ask if whatever it was would make for a better story, the answer was, “Yes.”

Because really, what else is there?

Don’t take my word for it. Helen Keller said it better: “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

I’ll take daring adventure, please.

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Think of the last time you got some good news. I mean, really really really good news. Now do something motivational speaker Mark Jeffries suggests. Think of what you were doing the day before you got that good news.

It kind of changes how you look at today, doesn't it?

You never know what delights may be just around the corner.

Have a good day. Have a good weekend. Have a good life!

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Some employers think that if a job interview is stressful, it will be a good test of how you'll handle stress after you're hired. Many candidates think the interview is plenty of stress all by itself, thank you very much.

I loved going on interviews so much, believe it or not, I wished I could do that for a living.

Take the one I had for a job with the sales division of Procter & Gamble. The hiring manager was everything I wanted in a boss, and I'd be working out of a swanky office on the north side of Lake Calhoun in Minneapolis. We had a delightful conversation. I couldn't really see myself going from grocery store to grocery store setting up product displays--but I also couldn't see myself using my soon-to-be civil engineering degree, given how much I'd hated that course of study. So the manager and I promised to keep in touch.

I shook his hand, and got up to leave. When I tried to open the door, the doorknob fell off.

Now what? Was this a test? I don't have an edit switch (I know, that would come in handy in my radio work)--so I turned to the manager and blurted it out: "Is this a test?" The question amused him very much. "Nope," he said. "That..." (pause for effect) "is a broken doorknob."

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Nothing like a book called Living Well at One Hundred to make you think, "Better do some financial planning." Many of Dr. Darlene McCord's suggestions will ring familiar, and on a recent edition of The Career Clinic she said stress is contagious. "If you're a manager you set the mood for the whole office," she points out. "People look for cues about how to feel from you."

It reminded me how often that plays out. For better or worse, default settings or no, we catch moods from each other as easily as we do colds.

I first became aware of this in college. I was at a concert with my boyfriend, and couldn't believe Billy Joel was going to sing "Summer, Highland Falls." I almost burst into tears at the sudden delight, not realizing Steve was taking this in. I could feel his eyes on me, then. He smiled, so I smiled. Later he told me he wished he had a picture of my expression at that moment. "Priceless," he said. And then, "So innocent." Now I realize what the expression was. I wasn't about to decide it was a smile-worthy moment until he gave me the okay.

I aspire to what Dr. Alex Lickerman described as indestructible happiness, but I cop to what I've heard put this way: "You're only as happy as the least happy person you're living with." So you do the best you can by yourself--and your sweethearts--and keep a can of Lysol handy.

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Once upon a time I asked my boss for the raise he’d promised and we both knew I’d earned. Now he wasn’t sure. I was stunned, and told him so.

At which point he said: “You push too hard sometimes.”

He wasn’t used to being held to his word, from what I could tell, and managed mostly by intimidation. So I was delighted, and okay, relieved, when he laughed at my response: “When (insert his name here, in italics) tells you that you push too hard, it’s time to take a good long look at yourself.”

I used to be afraid of bullies. Then I heard how the wife of a friend looked at them: “Oh well, they get the life that goes with it.” Now I’m more playful with people who intimidate me.

Or I pretend I’m watching a movie. It makes it easier to stay detached.

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How do people feel when they're with you? Do their eyes sparkle with delight?

What if the words you spoke to them were the last words they'd ever hear? Would you be at peace?

Benjamin Zander is the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic. You might be inspired by this video I found in a blog by motivational speaker Tim Sanders.

Enjoy!

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