Posted by: maureen in voice, encouragement, ache on
Jun 21, 2010
You're at the office, and it's late. You hear voices. Someone you work with is taking it to someone else you work with, apparently not realizing--or caring--the conversation can be heard by more than the intended audience.
You want to bolt, but the only way out is through--right past the action. No thanks.
So you wait. You wonder if you've ever heard more venom in your life. And you decide whatever the problem was, it couldn't have justified the cruelty with which it was expressed.
Things quiet down, eventually--but now you have a problem, judging from the voices inside your head battling it out. One aches for the person who took the blows, one begs you to mind your own business.
Dash off a quick note of encouragement--and run the risk of embarrassing someone who wishes you would've minded your own business.
Say nothing, and-- Well, I don’t know! I’ve always been a little bit scared to say something, and always been glad that I did.
The Happiness Project is getting a lot of play these days, and I couldn't be happier for author Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen invited readers to help her compile a list of happiness-boosting blogs, and mine made the cut. Okay granted, that's because I added it--but with Gretchen's encouragement. She apparently doesn’t relish asking friends to nominate her for things, either. It's enough to make you (or rather, me) want to stay anonymous.
When I first heard about Gretchen's blog I was enchanted by the title, by the paradox. Though with apologies to my agent, I wouldn't have attempted a project like this. I don't think happiness is the point. I think having a point is the point. Happiness is, to me, a byproduct.
The proof is in the way it just sort of sneaks up on you. You get up, you have your coffee, you try to make something happen. And suddenly you're brushing snow off your car windows and you think, "Oh! This is what happiness feels like!" Enjoy that while it lasts, because right around the bend there's a bus coming straight at you.
Good thing. Easy is boring. Isn't it?
Perhaps the writer EL Konigsburg said it best: "Happiness is excitement that has found a settling-down place, but there's always a little corner that keeps flapping around."
Once upon a time I interviewed a woman who took issue with the way I summed up her message. I thought she was saying, "You're supposed to enjoy your work." She wanted it put this way: "You're meant to enjoy your work." She's picking nits, I thought--then. Now I know better. There's a big difference between those two statements.
Please don't ever mistake the inspiration I share for an order. It isn't. It's just...an idea. If you want bad news, read the news. If you want discouragement, I bet you know where to find that as well. I want my radio show--and this blog--to be an oasis, a place where you'll feel better for having tuned in or visited.
Anne Headley is one of my favorite career consultants, a frequent guest on the show, and an all-around work buddy. I love the way she describes my encouragement to follow your dreams: "Maureen isn't saying you should do that. She's saying you could..." Thanks, Anne!
