The Career Clinic Blog

Ever notice when you go roller skating there's always one person who's either clutching the side of the rink or causing a ten-skater pileup after still another wipeout?

That's me.

To say I'm not a natural at the sport might qualify for a world record in understatement. So naturally, I love it. Every bit of coordination and even IQ has to go into staying upright. Any problems I have before I lace up just seem to...fall away. I'm terrified and totally relaxed, at once.

Meditation doesn't have to be boring.

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You owe it to yourself to find out as much as you can about the job you're going after before you go after it. One of the best ways to do that is to talk to someone in the same career.

Please don't think of yourself as an imposition. Take it from someone who's constantly interviewing people about their work. The more they love it, the more they love talking about it. Their families and friends have heard these stories before. You're a new audience. They'll appreciate the reminder of how much they've pulled off.

Remember to ask them what they don't like, as well. Brian Kurth of VocationVacations says you may decide to pick a new dream: "Isn't being an innkeeper just the most romantic-sounding thing...until you're scrubbing toilets? Being a winemaker is dreamy, too, until you're schlepping case after case of wine into a shipment truck. And owning a bakery? I hope you like getting up at three in the morning."

It's an acid test. Can you handle the drudgery that's part of even the most glamorous jobs? Will you do that happily, and consider it a small price, for your dreams?

Hired!

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"Smile!"

If someone reminds me to do that when I'm getting my picture taken, no problem. If someone breaks my concentration to suggest it, I just want to say, "You smile."

Curt Rosengren isn't surprised. The man who calls himself the Passion Catalyst says some of the happiest people he knows don't look that way on the outside. To the contrary: "You almost have to poke them to make sure they're still breathing. That's how absorbed they are in their work."

It reminds me of the guy who took issue with me as I perused the handouts on this table or that after a workshop session several years ago. "You have to relax, Maureen," he scolded. "Nine hours of day of this stuff is enough." How can he be so confident he knows better than I do, I wondered, what's fun for me? "I am relaxing!" I said brightly, not exactly rushing out of the room to snag a seat at his table for dinner.

I'm embarrassed to admit how many times I've felt badly for people, doing work I’d hate, only to find out they love it at least as much as I love mine. Happy people don’t necessarily whistle while they work, Curt points out. Sometimes they’re very, very quiet.

Unless you ask them to talk about it! I've yet to meet a person, in love with a job, who doesn't also love telling you the story. How that relates to your career, in the next post.

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"I think it's great how much you and your husband love to run," a tennis mom told me one afternoon. I looked over my shoulder to see the person she was talking with. "Who, me?" I finally asked. "We don't love to run," I told her. "But you do it almost every day," she said. True. Though I can't remember the last time I didn't dread hitting the track, or the side of the road. Especially now that it's winter. It takes a long time to put on enough layers to stay warm, and sometimes I do things in the wrong order. I'll forget to put on my headphones before I don my headband, baseball cap, scarf, hooded jacket, and another scarf to keep them all in place--and have to start over.

I also can't remember the last time I skipped a workout. I haven't changed how I feel about working out, but I've changed the way I feel about the way I feel--thanks to a daytime television talk show. Someone in the audience complained about how much she hated to exercise. "You don't have to like it," the advice dispenser offered.

Good point. So I don't like running. So what? I do it, and I love the way I feel afterward and even occasionally during. Maybe you've heard it called eating the frog. Do what you dread most, first. The rest of the day will be easier. Darrell and I breakfast on that frog, then come home to warm showers and the good feeling of the best health insurance money can't buy.

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"What are you going to do fun this weekend?" someone asked me several years ago, before I set out for Minneapolis--as usual--after my noon newscast on Saturday. I was the brand-new news director at the radio station in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota, population eight-thousand something. My answer was always, "Go somewhere crowded, and wait in line." I'm a city gal, and being in a small town six days out of seven was plenty. I needed my big-city fix.

I'd lived in smaller communities before, but never on purpose and not for long. After interning at the Minnesota News Network in St. Paul, I was told that to make it in radio I'd have to work at a small-town station to be forgiven the inevitable on-air mistakes beginners make. "I'll see you in a year," I promised. "Maybe two."

Six months later I met Darrell, and the rest is personal history. Sixteen years later, I'm still living in Detroit Lakes. Maybe you've heard you don't need to use your blinkers in a town this size because everyone already knows what direction you're going. I'll probably never get used to that, and will probably always crave the bedlam of a Minneapolis or especially New York. But there's something to be said for the dailyness of this life, fewer distractions from what's important. I love my work, I love the people I work with, I love the people I'm with when I'm not working.

Oh sure, I'm always scheming about that next trip to four-or-five-lanes-of-traffic-in-each-directionland, because chaos is soothing (don't ask). I don't spend the time in between road trips unhappy, though. There's too much to love right here.

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What are you famous for? What do people say is distinctive about you? If you’ve been listening to The Career Clinic very long you can probably guess what I’m known for: my laugh. I laughed so hard on a recent edition of the show I had nightmares about it later. I almost thought I’d get in trouble for it.

My guest was Michael Bryant, a career consultant in Baltimore who coaches businesspeople on the art of customer service. If you want better customer service, Michael thinks you should be a better customer. Be clear about what you want. That’ll make it easier for someone to help you.

Michael told what he called “the story of the two Bobs” to illustrate this principle, and I bet you’ll be able to relate because you’ve probably been in a similar situation. If you want to hear the story, go to the home page of thecareerclinic.com and click on “Watch the Talk Show.” You may want to do it before this weekend, though, because if all goes well on the next program with engineer-turned-teacher Gary Nansen, a clip of that show will take its place.

And I’d love to hear what you think. Better yet, let Michael know. And tell him you heard him on The Career Clinic. Thanks!

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I think some pretty cool gifts are wrapped in pain. My divorce was like that. At first I looked at it as a gift, all right. The kind you open and mutter, "You shouldn't have."

Now I'm thankful for that broken heart, which made room for a wonderful life: work I love, a best friend turned husband who helped me find it, and a daughter who makes it all worthwhile. Everything I cherish is a direct result of losing everything I thought I cherished.

That's why I agree with what Louis L'Amour said: "There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."

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